yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Do you remember whose house we're in?
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
