Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
