Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
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