Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
