Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
