what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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