You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Randomize
