Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
