Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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