if i died would you start the facebook group?
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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