So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Randomize
