new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I'm sobbing to NWA
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
