No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
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