I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
