Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Randomize
