does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
