I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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