If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
