You really coming over, don't trick.
i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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