and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
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