Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
