A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
