i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Randomize
