the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
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