My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
