you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
