how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
