So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
