omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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