my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Randomize
