Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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