Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
We are all done wearing pants today
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
