So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
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