We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Randomize
