At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
