We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
