Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
he fucked my hip out of place.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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