The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
