I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
