why didn't you poke me back
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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