question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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