Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize
