I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
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