My Higher Power is John Stamos
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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