I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
he puts the penis in happiness.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
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