I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
