then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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