dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
