Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Randomize
