There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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