The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Will you blow on my dice?
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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