is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
