Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
