careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
