dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Randomize
