no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
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