on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
